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Saturday, May 26, 2012

I need some fresh air.

Do you have any second think about giving up life? Of course, I don't mean end up our own lifes.
Yes I did.
It was strange, I couldn't help suffering about that, didnt't want to explain why would I do something I would never did.
I knew I could get over it, though.

26 May, it's a sunny day, first day of the holiday. Party time I suppose?
SPM is a huge problem which turns me into a girl who's trying to escape from reality.
Like I say, give up. Not to care about pass my exam with flying colours.
Human's memory can't just erase by eraser or delete it just pressing one button. NO, it just stucks in your mind.
Ya, people say you can ignore it, bury it up I wish I could, but I can't.
Without these memories, I lose my motivation.
It's hard to believe that people at a young age like me suffer for something like this.
Shouldn't a 17-year-old girl enjoys her life?
Life is such a bitch. Torture me, snach all the joyful times away from me.

I don't want people look down on me, I don't want to disappoint whom I'm trying to make them happy.
I'm getting more sensitive and overreact, like a human transfers to a vampire and the personalities starts to be magnified. I hate these feelings. It bothers me a lot.

I pretend not to care much things but I actually I do.
I pretend like I'm fine with that grounded life style but I actually don't.
I pretend like I'm a girl that people can fool around but I actually don't wish they go overboard.
I pretend like I'm good with the sarcasm but of course I don't.

Don't trust me whenever I say I'm fine, I'm fine whenever I'm with people.
BUT I'M STILL ME, those pain, those feelings, those memories will never go away, they appear whenever I'm alone.
I still can't trust people easily as I will never give anyone any single chance to destroy my life.
I'm still the insecure one.


Fine, I have to stop grumbling like an old lady.
Peace (:

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Untitled.

Sorry for being soooooo lazy to update my blog.
My results are driving me crazy --
Lesson learned, never give up any subject when there's 5 subjects crash at once.
SCREW! I studied so hard for my biology but the result is totally out of expect!
Well, the fact, I should work harder and harder, as you know, I ain't genius.

283 days to go, SPM.
Should be preparing for it instead of fooling around.
Godddd. WHEN CAN I BE SERIOUS?

Well, you know.
Chinese is the only subject that I proud of, I always get the highest mark on my essay part.
(but SCREW THOSE ming ju jing hua as I never read those shits.)
I used to be excited everytime I sit for Chinese.
Since form 4, I lost the passion.
When we got our results for the 1st semester 1st term exam we are like, WTH.
THIS IS INSANE. 
My essays turned to be the low marks, and those essays without proverbs, idioms and without ayat gramatis at all got higher mark, even the one who was the worst got the highest mark! 
NOW I REALISE, he likes SIMPLE and NICE!
This happened for the rest of the exams but I never give up as I have no reason to give up my favourite subject just because of the awful teacher, right?
2012, Form 5 so we get to have another Chinese teacher which is younger but non experience,
is this how our school expects us to get high mark, score A during SPM?
The new teacher even said this after gave out the results, “对你们的SPM不要抱有任何希望拿A, 一你们这种程度可以平安及格就好”
(DON'T EVER TELL ME THIS IS REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.)
Well, after hearing this, I guess, HOPELESS, I rather count on myself, I'm done with counting on teachers.

More post coming soon. 
Stay tune! ;)





Sunday, February 26, 2012

Here comes the exam.

Exam is around the corner, should be studying right?
Why am I still playing Tetris? No idea.

Downloaded a new application, Pudding.to. 
Its functions are just like iPhone Instagram
Follow me! :)



















Finally my hairs grow longer now <3333
Off to study. 

Gonna update about hang outs with wifey after exam!